Today, I read Helen Lewis’ discussion of “masculinism” in the Atlantic.

I don’t like paying attention to provocateurs, whether or not they sincerely believe what they say. But, as Lewis points out, these views are leaking into the mainstream, including into the highest levels of the current administration. So, again, these times force us to take the absurd seriously.

Reading about these men (and some women) who lament the persecution of men, or the feminization of America, or whatever other formulation they have for it, I experience the disbelief and disgust that I expect most of Lewis’s readers do. But what strikes me most about these men is that, even as they talk about hierarchy and physical fitness and strength, they radiate weakness.

Progress makes demands of us. It removes the advantages some of us enjoy, and so things become more challenging. It liberates some of us, and in so doing gives us greater responsibilities. It forces all of us to learn and adapt. The rewards are rich lives, justice, prosperity, dynamism, dignity, hope. But, on the way, progress makes demands of us.

Democracy makes demands of us. The obvious demands are on those who are stripped of status: aristocrats accustomed to bending the world to their wishes did not enjoy having their influence reduced to a single vote (and so the wealthy and influential have always tried to break that constraint). But citizenship makes significant demands as well. Citizens must stay informed, they must discuss and debate, they must at times serve (as on a jury), and they must vote. These are not small duties, and we know that because so many of us fail to fulfill them. When politics is complex or contentious, getting involved is uncomfortable, but that is the demand progress makes of us.

Immigration makes demands of us. The immigrant has to adapt, has to find their way in a new land, has to live with the disorientation and distance from their home, has to constantly prove their value. The rest of us have to make space, to accept that we may hear languages or see customs in our streets that are unfamiliar, to empathize with the difficulty of migration, to recognize the contributions immigrants make. The rewards are immense, but the demands on everyone involved are real.

When I hear anti-democratic or anti-immigrant sentiment, what I hear is the inability to meet those demands. Xenophobes are not strong enough to welcome, and so they want all of us to live in isolation, stagnation, and stultifying homogeneity. The irony of calling antidemocratic leaders “strongmen” is that if they were really strong, they’d be able to lead through inspiration and persuasion; they could work within democracy because opposition and bureaucracy would be no match for the appeal of their vision. But they are not strong enough, and so they suppress opposition to make the task one they can manage.

Equality makes demands of us. It seems the men in this movement can’t compete in a market where women have education and agency and ambition, can’t build relationships and families with women who are partners rather than subjects, can’t thrive in a culture that gives weight to the desires and preferences of women. If you cannot thrive unless others are held back, you are not strong.

Democracy is civilization. Openness is civilization. Equality is civilization. Progress makes demands of us, and meeting them requires strength. The men in this movement don’t have it.